


R&R&R

by Descended_from_Hufflepuffs



Series: "Excuse you, Sir" [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Healing, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt Jensen Ackles, M/M, Mother Hen Jared, Recovery, Surgery, the slow slow process of healing does not agree with Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28890204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Descended_from_Hufflepuffs/pseuds/Descended_from_Hufflepuffs
Summary: Rest & Recovery & Repression: The story of Jensen recovering from his experience and Jared helping him
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Series: "Excuse you, Sir" [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115513
Comments: 38
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

Jared sat in the living room of a very nice house. It seemed Jensen paid one Dr. Jeffery D. Morgan a lot of money to ensure his health. Given that the man had practically a fully functioning hospital in his basement, it was money well spent. This should be of some comfort to him. After all, Jensen wouldn’t trust him and give him this much money if he wasn’t the absolute best he could get.

Still. He’s sitting out here. Alone. Waiting. 

And Jensen is in there. Getting surgery. 

“...’M gonna go for a walk,” he muttered, not really caring if anyone heard him. Stepping out into the cool night air did make him feel marginally better. More alive and grounded at the very least. This was just supposed to be a “rescue Jensen then happy rainbows” moment, not a “rescue Jensen then rush him to surgery because he’s bleeding everywhere” moment. He shuddered just thinking about how dangerously shallow Jensen’s breaths were by the time they got to Dr. Morgan’s house.

It was crazy to think that just under 48 hours previously, everyone had been concerned for  _ Jared’s _ safety. Everyone was worried  _ he _ would get taken or attacked or killed and now…. Now he’d been left alone entirely except for a few mental scars but it’s not like he didn’t already have some of those. All in all, he’s fine. He’s fucking fantastic and he should be feeling a lot more grateful than he is.

It’s hard to be grateful when you’re just pissed off at the universe for throwing you curveballs every time you decide to exist happily for a few moments.

He found one of those bench swings hanging from a tree and just sat down for a few minutes. Or maybe it was a few hours. Time was weird when shit hit the fan. 

_ “I’ll go left, you grab the guy on the right.” _

_ “Okay, just knock him out?” _

_ “Killing him would be preferred but sure.” _

He shook his head, trying to clear the memories of the last few hours. He never intended to go inside on that mission. He knew he wouldn’t have the nerve to do anything like that, point a gun and threaten someone’s life. He wouldn’t necessarily classify himself as a pacifist but unneeded violence never sat well with him.

_ “Outside’s clear. Heading in now.” _

_ *Creak* _

_ “What the-” _

_ *Bang* _

_ “Nice shot, Jared.” _

But how does a person define “unneeded” or “unnecessary”? Wouldn’t that be on a case-by-case basis? Blanket statements never answer the real questions. Whos’ to say there aren’t situations where murder is necessary or even helpful? Could anyone ever really be the judge of that? Who could you even appoint to such a position? Would that even be feasible under the current legal system?

_ “Fuck!” _

_ “Sheppard!” _

_ The candelabra felt heavy in his hands. _

_ *Crunch* _

_ “Well, that worked. Come on, let’s get Jensen.” _

He stared at his hands, sitting so innocently in his lap. Maybe he wasn’t fine. But who was in this situation? Jensen certainly wasn’t. Jensen was fighting for his life and here Jared was having a fucking pity party. It was suddenly too cold outside. Maybe he should just wait inside. He’d get faster updates there, right?

\---------

Dr. Jeffery D. Morgan stepped into the living room, where all of Ackles’ posse was waiting for an update. It wasn’t the first time Jensen or someone in his group showed up at his house in the middle of the night for immediate medical attention. It was hell on his sleep schedule and he was pretty sure his wife was going to kill him for real next time it happened but the money was good so he wasn’t going to complain.

Looking around, he noticed a new member. Tall kid, well-built, very shaken. He vaguely recognized him from somewhere but it was hard to say. So many kids ended up in his home office these days….

Whatever.

“Mr. Ackles is going to be alright. I’d like to keep him here for the next 24 hours under observation in case anything goes wrong. You can all go ho-”

“Can I stay?”

He raised his eyebrows at the kid and was about to comment when he saw Sheppard shake his head.  _ Ah.  _

“Sure. It’ll save me time checking up on him.”

\---------

The first thing Jensen was aware of was an annoying beeping in his ear. It was loud. Why was there loud beeping anywhere near him?

The second thing Jensen was aware of was a soft humming, just barely loud enough to be heard in between the beeps. The humming moved around a bit, like a person pacing around a room because they can’t think of anything else to do.

The third thing Jensen was aware of was that the light above his head was very bright. He tried to tell the person in the room to turn them down but the best he could do was a groan.

“Oh, sorry sorry. I didn’t know you were awake.”

_ Jared? _

He opened his eyes (without flinching and groaning) and took in his surroundings. The last thing he was aware of was Jared carrying him to the van. Based on the outdated wallpaper and the somewhat disturbing amount of angel statues sitting around the room, he guessed they’d done the smart thing and brought him to Morgan’s place to get patched up. And there he was. Jared fucking Padalecki, his boyfriend and savior. “Hey, sweetheart.” His throat was dry but it was worth that little smile.

“You should drink some water. You’ve had a long couple of days.” Jared helped him sit up and held the glass to his lips. He’d complain but it was Jared and he didn’t feel like talking. “Dr. Morgan said you need to stay for a few more hours for observation. He’s sleeping now but I can call him if you want to talk to him. You were in surgery for a while so I guess he’s just being cautious. He also said that when you leave he wants you on bedrest for a few more days at least, a week if I could talk you into it. Could I talk you into it? I mean, he’s the doctor so he probably knows best but you’re really stubborn and you’ll probably want to get back to work soon.”

Jared was rambling. It was cute but also a little worrying; they could talk about it when they left. “Where’s the rest of the gang?” he managed to rasp out.

“They went home, I guess. I’ve been here with you since you got out of surgery so I wasn’t really looking for them.”

Surgery. Was that why Jared was nervous? “...How long have you been up?”

He shrugged. “A few hours. I had a nap earlier when Dr. Morgan was in here.”

_ Translation: longer than he wanted to admit. _

“Good. So, when do I get out of here?”

“When Dr. Morgan says. Last he was in here he said you could go home sometime tonight.”

Tonight? “Jared...how long was I out?”

Another shrug. “Not counting the surgery, about 20 hours. Dr. Morgan said you needed your rest after everything that happened so we just let you sleep.”

Jensen reached for Jared’s hand. He imagined that flinch, right? “I’m glad you’re here,” he murmured, squeezing gently.

Jared smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad I am too. Now get some rest; Dr. Morgan will be here to check on you soon. Maybe if you do good we can go home earlier….”

He smiled and pulled Jared in for a proper kiss. “Maybe we can….”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and Sheppard have a little chat

Jared quietly went through his morning routine. He and Jensen got home late last night and his boyfriend had gladly gotten under the covers after being carried upstairs, making lots of sleepy promises to get some rest.

He didn’t believe for one minute that those promises would last longer than Jensen was asleep.

He was just pulling his shirt down when he heard stirrings from their bed. He quietly padded out of the bathroom to find Jensen reaching for his cell phone, not an easy task when you were only twelve hours out of surgery. With lightning speed, Jared grabbed the phone from his hands and tossed it on his desk. “No, no work.”

The look of indignation on Jensen’s face would be adorable if it wasn’t pointed at him. “Jared, what the-”

“Resting. Healing. Relaxing. These are all things that you promised to at least  _ try  _ to do when we got in last night. Doctor’s orders say you’re taking a vacation and staying on bed rest until he says otherwise.”

“Jared-”

“No, no arguing. I know you love working and you’re a control freak-”

“Hey! I-”

“Yes, you are, now let me finish.” He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “Jensen, you almost died. You almost died with Jed and you almost died with Dr. Morgan. You just went through hours of surgery after days of dehydration and starvation. You. Need. Rest. And it’s my job to make sure you get it. So, no work. Sheppard and the others can handle everything and they know to call if there’s a problem that actually needs your input.”

Jensen looked like he wanted to argue but he wisely stayed quiet.

"Glad you understand. Now, I'm gonna make you some toast and coffee and then we'll watch a movie or something. Okay?"

He got a nod and that was all he needed. Jensen was not going to be easy to take care of. Luckily, Jared was just as stubborn.

\---------

Jensen didn't care if it was probably just the painkillers talking; he felt fine and he wanted to work. Okay, yeah, he was tired but he could still check emails. Unfortunately, Jared was going all in on the "No Working" order. He'd hid the laptop, the phone, the backup phone, and locked the door to the study, which all seemed a little redundant because Jared wasn't even letting him out of bed aside from supervised bathroom trips.

At first, all the attention had been sweet. Jared was quite the mother hen and after so many years of being forced to take care of himself, it was nice to have someone else take on that job. But, if Jared was right about one thing, it’s that Jensen is an absolute control freak. He liked doing things and giving orders and making sure for himself that things were going according to plan. Staying in bed, forcefully kept from doing anything useful, it went against the very blood in his veins. Didn’t help that he was mostly alone with his thoughts. 

Something had to give if he was going to make it out of this with his sanity intact. He loved Jared, he really did. But still.

He was watching yet another rerun of a show that he vaguely remembered from his childhood when he heard his beloved boyfriend trying to stop a visitor. 

“Jensen’s not seeing anyone for a while.”

“Relax, Moose, I just want to have a word with him. You’ve had him all to yourself all week, let me have a turn with him.”

Good ol’ Sheppard. He was getting a fruit basket after this was over.

“Mark, I don’t-” The door opened and Sheppard made his way to a chair near the bed. 

“Ackles, long time no see. I noticed you got a new guard dog.” They shared a chuckle and Jensen shrugged at Jared.

“Give us a second?”

Reluctantly, he did, though Jensen knew he didn’t go far. “Please tell me you wanna talk about work. I’ve been banned from it since I got back and I am losing my goddamn mind.”

“I do actually have some good news on that front. Remember that mole we were trying to catch?”

“Yeah. You find ‘em?”

“Sort of. I put word around that Pellegrino was out of the picture, had it put in a couple of newspapers, the evening news, all that. His guy freaked out as soon as he saw the broadcast; apparently, he managed to turn one of our own. The man was expecting a big payout and an even bigger promotion and it all got swept away. We made a proper example out of him too; that should prevent that sort of nonsense from happening for a while.”

Jensen nodded his approval. “Good, good. Can’t have too many rogues running around. Bad for business. Anything else I should know about?”

“Not a lot of excitement otherwise. Well, aside from the fact that I’m just as good at your job as you are,” Sheppard chuckled. “I might go as far as to say some of our clients prefer dealing with me.”

“In your dreams, Sheppard. We both know it’d fall apart without me.”

“Yeah, well, not anytime soon. You’ve still got some resting to do before you’re ready to get back into the office. Dr. Morgan was pretty adamant about that after last time.”

Jensen scoffed. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Ackles, I love you, but tearing out all your stitches two hours after they got put in because you couldn’t stay out of the office for a day very much qualifies as ‘that bad’. Honestly, I’m glad Jared’s keeping you in bed. It might be overkill but I’ll take that over you keeling over from overexertion.”

“Yeah...do you know what that’s about?” Jensen couldn’t shake the feeling that Jared was doing this for more than just him. “He’s been getting this weird look in his eyes lately and I know he’s having nightmares, even if he won’t tell me.” 

Sheppard shrugged. “Might have something to do with our little rescue mission. He had to come in with us as a combatant because Pellegrino came prepared. He was real good in there but...I’m not sure he was ready for what all that would entail.”

“Meaning?”

Sheppard sighed. “He killed two people. Shot one in the head and knocked the other a little too hard. It helped our mission a lot but I don’t think he expected to have to do that. If I had to wager a guess, he’s using being your nurse as an excuse not to think about what happened.”

This was the first he was hearing about this. “Why wouldn’t he tell me that? It’s not like I’d judge him for it. Hell, I’m proud of him for holding his own like that.”

“You might not judge him but he probably does. I’d talk to him if I were you, give him a chance to get some things off his chest. It might get you email privileges.” Though the last part was said in jest, everything else was serious. Jensen and Jared needed to talk. Soon.

“Good enough. Anything else I should know?”

“I think that’s all for today, Ackles. I’ll see you back at the office?”

“Hopefully. Now get out of here before Jared throws you out.”

“Yes, sir.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tough but necessary conversation.

Jensen watched Jared closely for the rest of the day. Having Sheppard around must’ve frazzled him because he just wouldn’t stop moving. He was either cleaning or cooking or rearranging or cleaning again or whatever else it took to let him deflect Jensen’s questions.

Unfortunately for him, this was not a conversation he could deflect forever. That’s alright; Jensen was a patient man. 

He waited until after dinner time. Jared had cleaned and put away the dishes and come back to bed for Serious Cuddles (which were supposed to help his recovery) and it was pretty easy to trap him in a glomp. “Haha, you are my prisoner,” he said once he had Jared securely in his grasp, only half-joking.

Jared just sighed and rested his hand over Jensen’s heart, a relatively recent habit.

“So. Gonna tell me what’s bothering you?” May as well get right into it.

Jared tensed in his arms and tried to deflect. “You mean besides you trying to force your way out of recovery? Probably just trying not to lose my mind being stuck in this house all day.”

“Jared….”

“What? Cabin fever is a thing.”

“But that’s not what this is.” Jensen sighed and hugged him closer. “I know you, Jared. Something is bothering you and I want you to tell me what it is.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Jared-”

“Seriously, let’s just go to sleep. You need your rest anyway. I can get a sleep soundscape started if you wan-”

“Sheppard told me.” Clearly, Jared wasn’t going to start this on his own. “When he was here earlier, he told me what happened when you guys got me out. What you did.”

Jared was silent, tense like a spring. After a few more moments, Jensen continued. “Look, I don’t know why they brought you along in the first place, though I’m sure you made some kind of ultimatum and they agreed because your puppy eyes are irresistible. I’m also assuming you coming in for the actual rescue wasn’t their idea because they knew I’d be pissed if you got hurt. But from what I heard you did a great job with Pellegrino’s security and I’m proud of you for that.”

A few more moments of silence, then “You’re proud of me?” It was barely more than a whisper and Jensen thought he might have imagined it except Jared kept going. “You’re proud of me? You’re proud of me for being a murderer? Does it make you feel better that you aren’t the only criminal in this relationship now?”

Well he hadn't expected sunshine and rainbows but this wasn’t how he imagined this conversation going. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?”

Jensen knew he’d have to pick his next words carefully. “I think a lot of other people would’ve left after something like that. This life is dangerous but it can be hard to forget that until something bad happens and some people can’t cope with that. But you stuck around to take care of me and that means a lot to me.”

Jared managed to untangle himself from his arms and leaned over him. “Jensen, I killed two people. Doesn’t that...I don’t know…. Does that bother you at all? I’m a murderer. Almost a serial killer. And you’re just...okay with that?”

He shrugged. “You didn’t mean it, it was part of the job. Besides, I’ve killed way more than two people and had hits ordered on top of that. It’d be a little hypocritical of me to toss you out over spilled blood.”

“It really doesn’t bother you.” It wasn’t a question. “Why not?”

“Why does it bother you?” Jensen eased himself up against the headboard so they were sitting eye-to-eye. “They weren’t exactly good people and they probably would’ve killed you without remorse. Hell, you probably did society a favor by getting rid of them.”

Jared huffed and looked away. “Look, I get it, you’re a big scary mob boss and murder is a part of that life and you’ve been in it since you were probably too young but that’s not my life. Before that night I only ever used a gun for hunting and target practice. I’ve taken self-defense classes as a precaution and the karate classes my parents dragged me to were more for show than anything else. I’ve never even  _ considered _ taking someone else’s life, not even Jed’s. And now….” He shuddered. “I can feel it. I can  _ feel _ the blood on my hands. Sometimes I still hear that guy's skull crushing in on itself. I feel like my ears never stopped ringing from the guns. But I’m just supposed to be okay because everyone else is okay so why shouldn’t I be. Even you seem okay after everything most of the time and I… I don’t know anymore.”

Jensen reached out and carefully caressed his cheek. “Jared, look at me,” he pleased. He had no idea it had gotten so bad. “I’m sorry I, or anyone else, made you feel like you had to act okay. With us, murder is normal. It’s part of our jobs, albeit a messy one. Hell, it’s been almost twenty years since my first kill and it was practically a celebrated event.” He chuckled without humor. 

“This isn’t easy for you and I never would’ve asked you to do that. I never expected it from you. I don’t want you to be more involved in that part of my life than you want to be. But I need you to know that I don’t think any differently of you and neither does anyone else. You’re still Jared Padalecki, the man who makes the best coffee in the universe and kisses even better, no matter what. I’m not gonna let you go or tell you to get over it or to be more like me or any of that because that isn’t you. You’re not a cold-blooded murderer and I doubt you ever will be. You’re not a criminal and I don’t hate you for it.” Hopefully, some of that word vomit stuck.

Jared made brief eye contact with him before looking down at the comforter. “I just….” He sighed and shook off Jensen’s hand, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Just a couple of weeks ago you were telling me that I was your fantasy land, where you could pretend not to be a mob boss and we both pretended we didn’t understand what might happen to me just for being with you. I honestly felt proud when you told me that; it made me happy to know that I could do something that meant so much to you without even trying. But that’s gone. I’m a part of your whole mob life now.”

“That doesn’t change anything between us. I love you, fantasy land or not. Hell, especially not because that means you aren’t running from the hills the second there’s a reminder that I sometimes do illegal shit! I love you and I want to keep you around for a long time if you’ll let me.” He rested his hand on the back of Jared’s neck and pulled him close enough for their foreheads to touch. For a few moments, they didn’t say anything, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company and that they’re both alive and there in that moment.

“....I love you too.” Jared moved in for a soft kiss, just barely brushing their lips together. 

Jensen Ackles is a very rich and successful man. He’s taken out countless competitors, made impressive deals, and grown the Ackles name larger than his father ever asked him to. But this moment right here, being able to freely admit to Jared that he was in love and to hear it back, stands as his proudest achievement.

They fall asleep soon after that, both feeling a little lighter and ready for whatever might come next.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluffy stuff with minor angst

_ The process of healing is slow. Jensen Ackles is not patient. Here are some comical and some angsty experiences of this as told by Jared Padalecki, volunteer caregiver. _

Jared carefully inspected the blanket burrito that had manifested while he grabbed the foam blocks and stretch bands needed for Jensen’s physical therapy exercises. It seemed being a mob boss did not exclude one from feeling pain after undergoing severe physical trauma. Poking the burrito carefully, he attempted to extract his boyfriend from the mass of fabric.

“Jensen.”

“No.”

“Jensen Ackles.”

“No.”

“Jen!”

“No!”

Jared groaned. “I know it’s not fun but we need to do these exercises. Unless, of course, you would rather Dr. Morgan confine you to a wheelchair. Maybe you’ll get to a walker by the time you’re fifty.”

Jensen grumbled but allowed himself to be pulled out of the blankets. “You’re mean.”

“I know, I know: I’m the meanest, worst boyfriend ever because I want you to do some simple exercises for the good of your health.” He rolled his eyes. “If you hurry up and let us get started, we might have time to make out before lunch.”

Jensen pouted and huffed but got into position. “Still mean.”

“I know, Jen. I know.”

\-----------

“Jared? My love?”

“Yes, Jensen?”

“Could you find it in your heart to get me a steak for dinner?” Jensen gave his best attempt at puppy dog eyes and kissed his hand.

Jared smiled sweetly and booped his nose. “No. Doctor’s orders: the toughest thing I’m allowed to feed you for the next week is bread. That was a very nice try though. You get points for effort.”

“Do points get me steak?”

“No. But you can cash them in for kisses after the movie.”

“...Your terms are acceptable.”

Jared chuckled and kissed his forehead. “Glad to hear it. Now sit tight; I am going to make you the best grilled cheese sandwich known to man.” He’d been floored when Jensen told him he’d never had such a delicacy before and now he was determined to feed him one at every opportunity. Making up for lost childhood in a way.

“So you keep telling me.”

“Because it’s true. Pick something to watch while you wait; I won’t be too long.”

He knew Jensen was watching his ass as he left. He may have put a little swing in his hips. But that was an adventure for another day.

\---------

“I was thinking we could go to my island after I’m allowed out of bed for longer than five minutes.” Jensen wiped his somewhat greasy fingers off on a napkin. “There’s a fully stocked beach cabin and it’s almost completely cut off from the outside world. We could have some real fun together.”

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “Why is this the first time I’m hearing about a private island?”

Jensen shrugged. “I’ve been busy; it just never came up. You know how hard it is for me to get away and I doubt you’d have much fun on a pretty much deserted island by yourself. But it’ll be good for us to get away after everything is settled.”

Jared shrugged. “If you say so. How are we getting there?”

“Flying in my private plane. Did I ever tell you I got my pilot’s license before my driver’s license?”

“It might have come up once or twice.” He chuckled softly and leaned in for a kiss. “And I, for one, am excited to see if it’s as sexy as you make it sound. But if you want Dr. Morgan’s okay, which I’m not getting in that plane without, you need to quit whining about your care routine.”

Jensen groaned and flopped back on the pillows. “Again: you’re mean.”

“Again: I know.”

\--------------

“Lay still.”

“It feels weird.”

“It’ll feel less weird when I’m done, which will happen sooner if you’ll quit squirming.” Jared carefully applied the last of the salve. “Can you stay still while I put the bandages on?”

“No promises.”

“Jen….”

A huff. “Fine.”

“Good boy.”

\-------------

Jensen clutched Jared’s shoulder so hard there would likely be bruising later. He wasn’t in pain, he was actually feeling pretty good that day. Which, of course, meant it was time to practice walking further than the ensuite bathroom. 

Hallway? He could handle it. Library? Piece of cake. Game room? Walk in the park. Stairs? His current worst enemy.

Again, they didn’t hurt, or at least that was what Jensen kept telling him. Jared’s not entirely sure who he was trying to convince with that one. No, the real problem was that it just...felt too weird. Though, most leg movements probably felt weird after spending so long in bed. Maybe he really had been too strict with that rule….

“You know, Jen, we don’t have to do all this today. We can just go back up and-”

“No! We’re halfway down, may as well go all the way.”

Ordinarily this level of confidence would be attractive or at least heartwarming. But Jared could see the effect all this was having on his boyfriend. Jensen had limited energy as it is with his injuries still healing and his diet limitations. “I think you’re pushing yourself a little too hard today. We can try the stairs again tomorrow, okay?”

Jensen shook his head resolutely. “No, Jared; I’ve never been beaten by a set of fucking stairs before and I don’t intend to do so now.”

“Jen-”

“I. Am. _Fine._ Let’s keep going.”

Eventually, they did make it to the bottom of the stairs. Thankfully, Jensen was ready to listen to him at that point and collapsed in a chair near the bottom steps to catch his breath. “Just...give me a…a few minutes,” he panted. “We can go up no problem.”

Jared sighed and shook his head. “There’s optimism and then there’s delusional. You’ve done a lot today already and you need rest. If you put too much strain on yourself, you’re only going to get worse.”

“Jared-”

“Jen, I’m serious. You could pull your stitches or strain something or hurt something new and we both know you don’t want that. Taking a couple of seconds to rest and let someone else take care of you will only help. Can you at least try to do that? For me?”

Jensen fixed him with an odd look, like he was coming to some kind of realization and no indication of whether that was a good thing or not. “...Alright. I think I’m ready to go upstairs now. Well, if I can get up anyway.”

Jared shrugged and picked him up in a bridal carry, secretly delighting in the yelp it got him. “I think I can get us up there.” It was a hell of a workout but nothing he couldn’t handle. Having Jensen glomp onto him and pull him into bed later was just an added bonus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know in the comments what you guys want next: Private Island Trip or Jensen Backstory


End file.
